Still sorting things out

It's been nearly 5 years since my mother passed away from Metastatic Breast Cancer. I still remember the exact day and time she passed. I remember exactly what happened. It's something that is impossible to unsee and impossible to forget. I may not think about it all the time and I may go for days without thinking about it at all, but I will never forget.

It took me and my dad nearly a year to sort through my mom's personal stuff. I can laugh about it now, but she had so so so many pairs of shoes and purses, not to mention a LOT of clothes. She didn't wear many of the shoes much after a few years because she began to prefer flat or nearly flat soled shoes, but she didn't get rid of any of them. Unless they were broken or worn out, she kept them. I will say that she didn't buy new shoes too often. But purses? Oh boy. I remember going shopping with her and her finding a new purse she liked or a new tote she liked. I would tease her that she had so many already, but she would always respond with "But not like this one!" I usually laughed and just let it go because who was I to tell my mom how to spend her money?

But after she passed, it was hard to sort through her stuff. I waited until after we had a small Celebration of Life with just a few family members (it was during Covid so...) so my brother, sister, and my nieces and nephews could look though some of my mom's stuff (usually jewelry) to pick items they wanted. It was my idea. Even after that, there was a lot to sort through. I did it mostly on my own. My dad had trouble dealing with it. So being the supportive person I am, I did it. Since I lived with my parents, I could take my time.

Honestly, though, it shocked me as to how much stuff my mom had accumulated! She had over 50 pairs of shoes and most were in good shape. There were over 40 purses and totes, also most were in good shape. And the clothes? Holy macaroni! She had so many clothes that her clothes were tightly packed in the closet. I probably packed up somewhere around two dozen boxes of clothes, maybe more. My dad and I took all of it to Goodwill. Since they were in good shape, why not let them go to someone who could use them? I would have sent the lot to Big Brothers Big Sisters, but they stop collecting in our area for some reason. I thought it was because of Covid but it's been a few years, and they still haven't started collecting here again. C'Est La Vie.

I still have the jewelry though. I don't think much of it is really that valuable, money-wise. But I'm starting to look at thinning some of it out. I don't care much for simple post earrings, at least not the tiny ones my mom tended to wear. She had small ears and small ear lobes. I like mostly dangly earrings, and I like to go for cute and funny ones (such as a gingerbread man lounging in a cup of hot cocoa or earrings shaped like strawberries or apples).

Today, I boxed up a few more boxes of things. Some are things I want to keep and I'm just trying to make the house a bit less cluttered. Some are things my dad and I decided we didn't need any more but since they are useable, I packed it up in a few boxes to take to Goodwill. We have a home care person that comes a few times a week to help out around the house and I let her go through the stuff to see if there was anything she'd like before I sealed the boxes. She found a few things. I have simple corner desk that I told her she could have if she wanted, and she said she would love it but needs to figure out where to put it.

Some people may say it shouldn't be a big deal to sort through a parent's belongings after they pass, but it really depends on the relationship they had with the parent. My relationship with my mom was okay. She wasn't a saint, though. I remember good times and bad times. As I got to be an adult, our relationship was better but still had rough patches. When I had to move in with my parents again, my mom was thrilled. She had someone who would love to attend events with her. We went to the New Mexico State Fair a couple times, the Coffee and Chocolate festival a few times, and lots of craft and quilting fairs. I miss doing that now. My dad never cared for those things, but I loved them. My mom didn't care that I couldn't seem to find a job here because she was happy to have someone help her and my dad around the house. I did find a temp job that lasted almost a year, but nothing else. I thought it would be easy since I worked at a university for twelve years and a law firm for seven, but it wasn't. I'm working on make puzzle books to sell through Kindle Direct Publishing on Amazon. Sold a few, but I'm not rolling in the money yet! LOL! It's okay though since I'm doing something I enjoy. I'm trying to finish up a series on Biblical Cryptograms, but I've been having issues with the file for the next book in the series. I'll get it though!

My brother has been trying to get my dad and I to move back up to Missouri to be closer to family, but my dad hasn't made the decision yet. It is a big decision with a lot to deal with. Though my dad does like to say that we'd move immediately if we won enough money in the lottery! LOL! Well, I do buy the tickets for him but nothing yet. I do like looking on houses in different areas, though, dreaming of moving somewhere else. Maybe I'm just torturing myself, but I like to look.

It is still hard to deal with, but at least I still have my dad. And I talk to my brother a lot. I do look forward to spending time with my sister, her kids, my brother and his family, and my dad whenever we do move. They all make me a little crazy, but I love them anyway.

Thank you for letting me blither on and God Bless You!